On the 11th of February I celebrated 11 days sober (I am a wine junky) and 11 years sober from my bulimia. This recent journey is bringing me to new places. I am reading, writing letters and sketching – things I enjoyed doing but didn’t because I would just what to sit and watch TV with my trustee old friend Wine and relax.
There are a lot of things I am becoming aware of during this short time of complete sobriety. I have been reading The Saint The Surfer and The CEO and it has opened my eyes to many issues I have to deal with and resolve. I realized I have had a closed heart for quite some time. It’s not that I don’t feel, but I certainly retain a wall around me to minimize the possibility of hurt.
As I go along this journey I am Journaling. To that end I will share some of the lessons that are worthwhile. To my friends out there still fighting the fight, don’t give up. As long as there is a spark still alive, it can still light the fire.
Done most but go to bed early is a challenge because I want to be awake for every moment I can but getting there. Be fierce … working on that. Feel it but kindness outweighs being fierce at often times… things that challenge you.. do that every day but there is one more I have to do for me. Other than that all other lessons have been completed. Particularly clutter. Went from 2400 Sq ft home and huge basement and garage to 400 Sq feet. Pretty awesome and freeing. 🤗🤗🤗 oh and I also unfriended people in my life that have been negative and toxic in person. That too is even more freeing than social media. 🤗🤗🤗🤗😆😆😆
COMPELLING. I never wore much make up and was who I was. Still went through stuff. And still do. But I learned that the older I get I actually feel younger than those in their teens and up to thirty somethings. Maybe that feeling comes with wisdom. Only you can love yourself to the bottom of your heart and all you have gone through. No one but you can share that but with you. So be nice to yourself and keep your truest friends close. Anyone else who doesn’t love you like you love yourself and the journey you are going through… delete from your life. There is only one you.
When I see people sleeping, it brings a sense of calm to me to know they are at peace. Or so I hope. Unless they have nightmares, but they look so beautiful. So although my victims hate me for this, and I have many, I thank them for the opportunity to look at these pictures when I’m stressed and know, sleeping beauties do exist. 🙂