On the 11th of February I celebrated 11 days sober (I am a wine junky) and 11 years sober from my bulimia. This recent journey is bringing me to new places. I am reading, writing letters and sketching – things I enjoyed doing but didn’t because I would just what to sit and watch TV with my trustee old friend Wine and relax.
There are a lot of things I am becoming aware of during this short time of complete sobriety. I have been reading The Saint The Surfer and The CEO and it has opened my eyes to many issues I have to deal with and resolve. I realized I have had a closed heart for quite some time. It’s not that I don’t feel, but I certainly retain a wall around me to minimize the possibility of hurt.
As I go along this journey I am Journaling. To that end I will share some of the lessons that are worthwhile. To my friends out there still fighting the fight, don’t give up. As long as there is a spark still alive, it can still light the fire.
Interesting that this post is from a 26 year old. I’m 50. Went through 30 years of my bulimia! Talk about making one feel old, although I still feel like I’m 50 going on 30 but not to the 30 I was as a bulimic. Your thoughts on age? Is there really a difference, other than the awareness one has having been a bulimic for so many years? Should we ask Jane Fonda? or how about Diane Keaton? They too had eating disorders. And Jane Fonda is in her 70’s! I guess we forget sometimes that this disease is not just about the young anymore. It’s been around for decades, and some are still suffering decades later. Maybe I should start a “geriatric” bulimic site. Heck, if you get pregnant after 35 it’s called a geriatric pregnancy. Guess, being bulimic after 35 should be labelled as such as well? Nevertheless, it’s all the same. We all suffer the same no matter our age. Only difference, as I noted before, is that the older you get, the more aware you are of the damage an eating disorder causes in your life, in so many different ways. And you want to reach out to the younger generation and tell them “don’t do it! It’s not worth looking back with a ‘what if’ attitude”. Helping someone though is not easy, as any eating disorder sufferer would know. Even if you are recovered, it’s not easy to tell someone how to stop. No matter what experience you have gone through. I do know however, listening, and trying, is better than not being there for them at all. Hugs to all of you out there, “old” and young. Keep the faith. There is a better life after an eating disorder. A very much better life.