What about me? I’m forty nine and still lost sometimes in the wave of creativity, emotions versus the objective and annoyance of life in general. I look in the mirror one day and see this beautiful happy woman, and the next one that has been soiled by the truths of life and the lack of trust that anything can really be “real” that has happened.
There is a day I wake up like a child smiling and laughing and loving life, and another I wake up wondering why there is so much pain, betrayal, anger and frustration that was not taught to me as a child…. that I didn’t have a lesson of how to deal with.
I could deal with the beauty, the wonders of a bumble bee’s flight, a hummingbird, a flower growing, a beautiful little gift made by hand and given, the smell of a fire, rainbows, cooking marshmallows, the beautiful stars above, the wonder and beauty….
… and then I wake up the next moment to find rain, hurt, evil, loss… again lessons no one helped me to deal with…
… so fo 30 years I threw those bad things up… but then I lost sight of all the great stuff…. the child like stuff.
If only I could have remained innocent…
… still looking for my best friend… me, and maybe someone who knows what I’m talking about who will spend life understanding each other and do our best to keep life’s soils out. I’d take soil on a floor over soil in my being…. anyday. One is easily swept up or mopped away, the other is not so simple.