THIS IS ME NOW!!!
Bulimia. It was my friend. I won’t lie. Not food. Food was not my friend. My bulimia was. I struggled for 30 years on and off with this friend. Trying to tell her she wasn’t, but she coming back to soothe me. How? You say? Because at the time I needed comfort and I didn’t know where to find it. Everything, and everyone around me seemed to feel like a control factor. Bulimia was my escape. I could actually go in a room and eat all the comfort food I needed until I felt so full that I just wanted to scream. I get it. It started as a diet gone wrong. I couldn’t manage dieting. I hated it. My eldest sister told me I was too fat for her wedding and should go on this starvation diet. I tried. I did it for three days… I suffered three times 10 years of that … thinking I was fat. And I was so NOT. I look back at the pictures of when I was 16 and I looked really nice!..
Society has a way of making us not like ourselves in order to sell diets and to sell anything that will make you right for video, for a picture, for whatever. But they don’t tell you what you need to just love you! Someone told me today that sometimes large people who are over confident and love themselves should learn that there are inappropriate things they wear. Like tight pants… yoga pants so to speak, with shorter tops than perhaps they should wear. But what constitutes what is right and what is wrong to wear? So a thin person can wear those yoga pants but a larger person who is proud of being large can’t? I think my conversation about people who are larger and confident fell to deaf ears.
We, as a world… seem to forget. It is important to maintain health. But when it gets to extremes… and the value of the relationship with food becomes one that you don’t have one that is healthy? It reflects on every aspect. Food is to be respected. You do that, you never have to diet. You build the relationship of body and food and mind being at one.
Want a piece of chocolate? HAVE IT! A piece. Respect.. and enjoyment at the same time.
I have a program that I am building to help people learn this. I have been free of bulimia.. don’t want to go back to her. She may have saved my life from what may have been worse in fighting emotions, but… she is no longer needed…. and overeating, as I did before her… no longer needed. I respect my food. I respect my healthy food, and my ice cream, and chocolate. I do not abuse them. But I won’t not have a relationship with them. I have made peace. You can too. Contact me. I really can help you learn… bulimia is not a jail.. but can be if you continue. Overeating is an option you can change perspective on to not overeat. Anorexia? A bit tougher. It is a tougher relationship to build with food. But it is doable.
Besides which.. unless you have the money for new teeth… and this applies to all three… bulimics, anorexics and over eaters? Highly recommend joining me… you may not think it at 18.. 20…maybe even 30… but you don’t want to be 40 and paying out for new teeth. 😉
STAYS HERE TO SHOW YOU DIFFERENCE IN 8 YEARS OF RECOVERY! THIS WAS ME THEN.
About? About what? Oh, yes. About a bull-imic. A person judged on the fact that somewhere in life a road led to the wrong direction. But did it. Is bull-imia a curse or a savior. OMG someone might say. Savior? Yes. I mean savior. Can it actually save a life? This may sound weird but listen to my words in these blogs. Bulli-mia should never be promoted, but in a small life, in a small world that one exists in, the most beautiful thing said was “it saved your life”. I know many will be despondent about that line, but…. it DID save mine.
Having said that, it also destroyed a part of me. Not only part of me that needed to learn how to deal with all the emotions it helped me to suffocate, but of relationships, both with me and others. I lost time. I lost money. I lost ME.
And I learned of world of deceit within and without – mine and theirs….
Here I tell you the world I lived in, the world I heard some of my colleagues lived in (they were so worse off!) and maybe help you, the reader, or you, the bull-imi-addict reading this, to understand a little more about OUR world.