I am so devastated. This past month the bullying I have experienced led me to cry. No not eat and throw up like I would have in my past, but cry. I felt helpless. I felt disgusted. I am 54 and should be strong enough to say STOP! But instead each time I walked away and cried.
Okay it’s not all that bad. I had two of four tenants run up against me for such stupid issues all I could think about was “are you that sad in your life that you have to come together and belittle a woman?”. I am not well. I have a really bad cold and my patience is null when I am not well. So I welled at them that I am tired and fed up with them and to leave me alone. Pursuant to that I knocked on my landlord’s door and asked her to stop them from being such bullies. One of the things they bullied me about was so lame. Locking the shed door. Funny thing is it wasn’t me it was the landlord. And asking me why I put stuff in there??? well the landlord and her husband were furious because that is shared space and they are not the boss of it. It made me feel better that they were going to address it, but it was bullying and it was shameful on their part.
Then there was at work when they have a meeting in the back and two of us do not attend. I was stymied when they put me in the middle of the circle while I was trying to get their attention that I needed their support and told me what I needed to correct. It was so insulting!! I didn’t reply and moved out of the circle. One thing to put someone in the circle to give them accolades, another to put them down!
Then a dog I was walking with my other dog, while I was watching mine go to the bathroom, tugged me and I looked around and was spooked by a runner running by us. Then she yells out the dog nipped her. I thought “I would have too if you had caught me a moment earlier!”. Now I am spooked even more because these people, even if you ask are you alright, then when they stop ahead yell again “are you alright” just keep moving forward, then come by to your landlord. I know this… it is another way of bullying. Pay me for the dog that I ran up behind on a short leash, but with no understanding that that would spook anyone let alone a dog and now settle. Another way of bullying someone.
I have lived most of my life around bullies. I was bulimic for a big reason for that. No more, but now I realize I have to find a way to fight back in a good way against these people who think their plight in life is to bully others because they have nothing better to do.
I am upset, but today, almost 6 years after the last time I threw up I can say, I know these people don’t deserve me hurting myself over them, but instead, I will find a way to defend myself against them. I just have to figure out how.