Interesting night tonight.  I smiled as I walked my dogs and saw a man park his Jeep by the park I live by and walk my dogs in.  He got out of the Jeep with a drink and a smoke.  I wondered what he was hiding from or getting away from.  He wasn’t there long.  Just enough for his drink and his cigarette and then drove away.  He had his moment in a gazebo in the park overlooking the pond.  I so wish I had a camera to capture that picture.  I had to smile knowing I don’t have to drive away and find a place to take the 7 minutes of a cigarette to hide.  I live alone.  If I want that 7 minutes with my cigarette I don’t have to drive away to do it.  If I want to go to that gazebo I can just can walk to it.  And I have no one to flee from.  I am alone, but not lonely.  I love my life.


Dad told me last night that my niece was in the hospital because she urinated blood.  It’s incredibly disturbing.  But I remember being bulimic and going to the doctor and him telling me I had traces of blood in my urine from lack of nutrition.  I’m am confused now at my age sometimes why young ladies do things to themselves to make this happen, yet cannot judge… but confused about why I didn’t appreciate my youth and did it to myself, I thought, after hearing this story of my niece.

Interesting night tonight.  I wanted to go speak to the young man and ask why he was there.  But I didn’t.  I just watched and hoped he would figure things out like I did, but sooner than later.  And hope same for my niece.

Tonight I observed… and then my mind raced.

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