I apologize for this rude posting, but when a man calls a woman who has morals a slut at times it is because of his own guilt of being one. I have learned this through my ex-boyfriend recently who is dating his ex girlfriend, ten years younger, married, no kids and skinny. I, after a return three years ago and his asking if we could try again, found out three months later that he was with her while with me. But before my finding out he was calling me the ‘S’ word if I but spoke to another male.
Guilt has a way of blaming others of either who you are, or why you are who you are. It was the same when I was married, another who left me for a skinny ten year younger one. He was with her before I left.
Ex-boyfriend told me he didn’t want to say anything about his affair because he didn’t want to hurt me. (same as my ex husband’s excuse)
That is not it at all. As I learned from now having gone through it twice, they are Gerry McGuires. They always need the back up plan, the consolation prize to their women of choice. They are male sluts who need the beauty and sex but want the constant loyal one there in case the fire dies.
My ex-boyfriend is asking if he is doing the right thing. We have remained friends and now he is second guessing his choice since I have made it clear I have no interest other than friendship. I keep telling him he made his bed and he must lie in it and that I am not in the equation, nor am i the one to guide him through this. I will always love his daughter, but that does not substantiate him thinking he can choose to come back any time to a consolation prize. I would rather be alone than a consolation prize, although I see that, believe it or not, as a compliment because I am the loyal one. Not the equivalent of a slut to the asshole screwing around nor the mate he is with.
He may still call me what he is (slut) when I refuse to be with him in a relationship ever again, but the most appealing thing to me is knowing who I am and knowing what he is calling me is what he actually sees in himself in the mirror every morning, and so too how he feels when he is with that married woman.
A clear conscience is an armor against any rude words, awareness of another’s behaviour either a sword or an caregiver to the one who suffers from the pain and wounds of guilt, and the greatest lesson of all is to choose which you will be – the warrior or the infirmary.