Bulimia and Those Cruel

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I wrote about this before. Don’t let those cruel to you drive you to your eating disorder. It did me for too many years. Other’s anger towards you should never break you to eating them up then throwing them up. Coping mechanism maybe, but in truth, they don’t care how you cope. YOU SHOULD! Don’t let them win. Answer? Talk to someone who would never be angry at you and would listen. That is our treasure. A true best friend. Even if it’s your dog. 😉

Tomorrow I lose two friends I’ve had for 45 years with me everyday!

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Tomorrow I am going to experience the hurt of having abused two friends so badly that they are leaving me. Two of my teeth that my choice of being bulimic forced their death. I am crying because I will miss them soooo much. I didn’t mean to hurt them. I should have known better!

I saw this post and I really needed it tonight, the last night I will have them with me. :(. So I’m taking the time to say goodbye. Forever. I know seems trivial in a world where people have lost so much more, but it makes me aware of that and too how my self-consciousness that I battled is rising up again.

Perhaps this is my lesson to find humility once again. I don’t fear the pain of the extraction, more so the sorrow of the loss.

Find Your Peace Of You That Is Missing

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Many with eating disorders have an empty space inside. The eating disorder becomes a coping mechanism, a way to deal with that missing piece which makes it difficult to find that internal peace. Journalling helps because reading back through your notes somewhere in there lies the answer.