Where you go when you’re gone

I wrote about this song before but somehow it keeps coming back.  There was a time where someone would ask me that.  I couldn’t tell them it was in my food.  Eating my emotions.  Somehow forgetting what I didn’t want to remember by eating them.  I don’t like to believe in karma, as I am Christian, yet somehow I sometimes feel it isn’t too building_wallsfar from the truth.  At least not with me.

My beautiful daughter is suffering emotional pain.  Now that I’m not hiding behind my emotions I see her pain, feel her pain.  Sometimes it’s overwhelming.  I remember the thoughts she has that I had too.  But I ate them then threw them up.

The other day she reached out for help.  I never did.  I’m proud of her, but yet fear that I don’t know how to help her.  I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do.

I thought at one time it was my fault that she’s going through her depression.  But now I know that it’s not me.  I might have been a part of it, but I’m not all of it.  I only wish I knew where she goes when she’s gone… emotionally.  When she comes out and cries, she still hides.  There’s is a piece of the puzzle I can’t find.

Can anyone give me a glimpse of what a 20 year old is going through that might cause so much emotional pain?  Please share.  Maybe with the answers I can find the answer of how to reach inside… go beyond her wall.

Beautiful post: http://rainbowjenn.blogspot.ca/2010/08/emotional-wall.html

I wish I had realized how Beautiful i was before I got old.

I really have no more comment than that!  I didn’t appreciate my youth and was too involved with an eating disorder to realize how beautiful I was.  Now, I am older, wrinkled, bad teeth so I hate smiling.  Divorced and not likely to find another man I could love the way I loved the first love of my life.  So to anyone reading this who is young… don’t let your life end up like mine.  I am recovered… but recovered too late.  But hey… still love my dogs and cats, so not totally alone.

Those were the days my friend…

marilyn-monroe-car-model Marilyn-Monroe-new-2012-black-and-white-wallpapers-4

Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end we’d sing and laugh forever and a day, we weren’t obsessed with weight, and we believed in fate, for we were young and surely had our way…. We lived the life we chose and didn’t care to lose, for we were young and surely had our way!

For slimmer or for “larger” a beautiful woman who lost her life way too early!!