I just had one of my cravings of 34 years! Back when I was 16 I worked at McDonald’s I loved my Big Mac. I loved it so much it was one of the reasons that I ended up from a 130 lb fit young teenager to a 165 lb McDonald’s poster child. All in two months. It was horrifying as I was at that time at an age where being “fat” was not desirable, but worse yet, I had been moved from my friends in London, Ontario to Montreal, and at that age you may as well have put me in Siberia! The new school had no sports, and we even managed to get into bars where, although we danced, we also consumed more beer than the dancing could burn off for calories. Alas, I still love my Big Mac, but it’s a treat, and I can’t even eat a whole one anymore. So I cut it in half and share the rest with my best friends – Rolly, Jenny and BingBing (my dogs).
I’ve come a long way from needing the fries and the milkshake along with it. It’s my treat. I don’t deny myself anything anymore but I know the proportions I can eat without feeling full and being satisfied. My life is feeling “full” with so many other things now rather than food. Much more enjoyable things! I am writing my book again – completing it – after having been inspired by typing someone else’s manuscript.
I completed my course for my next career – one I had 13 years ago, and going back to because I loved it. I only changed over because at that time it wasn’t paying enough to support the family. Now I’m on my own, it will do just fine for me. My riches are not in anticipating millions of dollars in my bank account, but they are my family, my friends, my animals, and most of all me. Because you have to start with you to be able to love all those around you fully and absolutely, and unconditionally.
I am so looking forward to this stage in my life. I feel much more motivated, and no small thanks to my counselor!! She was amazing in getting me through the loss of a marriage, the loss of a business, and the reconstructing of the relationship with my children, my sisters, and my parents. I could say I should have gone to a counselor long ago, but I always believe things happen for a purpose and when they happen, the timing is right. I believe that fully.
So my half a Big Mac was a moment in “heaven” so to speak. But these days, I have more than moments in heaven on earth. There are more and more longer periods of this happening and they make me smile, and grateful, and they have nothing to do with food. Letting go of my eating disorder, combined with the help I got, has truly made my life much more valuable.
It is, by the way, amazing what you can start to accomplish when you realize your true value. And the things you can do that you never thought you could. Heck, I’m even cold calling for sales for my friend now and loving it!! Who would have thunk?
p.s. do you remember this?
“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun.:
And backwards (which I still remember and can say it by heart!!)
“Bun seed sesame a on onion pickles cheese lettuce sauce special patties beef all two.”