What right do people have to say to you things you have been doing wrong when you know all the things they have done wrong that you don’t bring up to them? When you let them live their lives with no condemnation, yet they feel the right to condemn you?
What right do people have to be negative around you about their lives, thinking their troubles are priorities? Even if different problems then yours, and understandably they feel they are worse off, which they may be, belittle yours compared to theirs? Why are theirs so important that you have to listen and HEAR theirs, but they only listen but do not HEAR yours? Maybe, just maybe yours can be justified as being even somewhat important in their world of “me, my, oh dear me and my life”.
What right do people have to make you look bad because they themselves don’t feel good so have to project it onto you as you being worse than them? As if it’s a pathetic competition of “I feel worse, so I deserve more, but you get more, so when the inheritance comes, I expect more”? or “when judgment day comes I have more rights than you do”?
When, oh when did people start trying to become God by judging others? When did people start to think they knew the pain of another, based on circumstances only the one who holds them knows the depths of the truth? HOW DARE any one, no matter what their gains or loses know what another is going through?
It’s NOT ABOUT SURMISING TO KNOW!! OR FEEL!! It’s about empathy, without knowledge, but a caring hand to hold that makes it a true relationship of love and “understanding”. Understanding that that hand you hold could never be able to transmit the emotions, regardless of the cause.
NO ONE IS PERFECT AND NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE. Love, listen, hear, and understand to the best of your knowledge, knowing you will never truly understand. For we are all created in a unique fashion of feeling the elation of great and the depth of despair, which is exhilarating in a way, yet so frightening in another, and so painful yet in another. But each of those degrees vary in the area of life that they reside. And a loss may be as tremendous to someone in one aspect of their lives as it may be to another, and some share the same loses at different levels, but neither side should discount either level.
Hold their hand, make them understand you are there, and hope they will do the same for you without anything in return. No martyr syndrome, no throw back in the face later, just pure holding hands and feeling the moment at that point. Together. Without judgment.