So I posted two pictures of the last two loves I had. In heart. NOT in theirs. I took a chance, a risk. First was 22 years, second 6 years, next none. Just me. I can’t love anymore. I promised myself not to. Only as a friend, but that only one has proven to be. When Harry Met Sally he told her that men and women cannot be friends. I beg to differ. However, that men and women who have loved then lost cannot, no matter how I wish it could. My friend betrayed me tonight. The 6 year guy. So did the 22 year guy. But here is my song to them, because obviously they didn’t want me around… however… this is true… I will always.. in my own way… through all the hurt, the experience of pain, and love and caring to them and the little to me lost… this is my song to you… and what I have always asked for them…. but is this Whitney? And why she ended up dying? This is why I chose her. I felt her pain, loss of love, of the need. Funny thing is? She looks like the woman my ex of 22 had his second affair with. It was intense. She was beautiful. I couldn’t compete. I can’t with the new one either. Don’t want to. Younger, more beautiful, more sexual, more willing, more than I can give or want to. I love me. I realized I can’t give my heart out anymore. It hurts too much. To a friend? A bestest friend? Yes. To a “man” or what they so call a relationship? No. Why do you think I was bulimic? And why do you think I have been again on occasion.. after being out of it for a year? Abandomnent, lack of transportation, the feeling that they rely on you and the forceful image of you relying on them. And I’m not even in a relationship!! OMG OMMOG!!!!!!!