Unwell? How telling…

I’m into the “telling” word… how I used to be.  How compelling is that thought… and I’m just a bit more clear.. those words are hidden in this song.  A bit more clear.   What does it take to get you there?  That and the “shadows on the wall, hearing voices telling you to get to sleep… feeling like… I’m heading for a break down… but don’t know why”..  “Talking to  myself in public… I hear them talking about me”… “Lost”… BUT  “I’m NOT crazy, I’m just little unwell”.  And yes I am.  To last post about honesty, comes forth the not well.  I have three sisters.  One scares me a lot, one not so much because I know her too well, and one I love to death.  She couldn’t hurt a fly.  Why is this song “telling”?  Because my youngest called me an alcoholic loser.  She told me I was successful at one time and now am a loser.  I wanted to tell her to look in the mirror.  The reason I feel like this song is “telling” is because I knew and still know how to love.  She never did, never will.  It’s all about her.  To me, my life is all about others.  I hurt for them, fell for them, feel for them, humans or animals.  It’s my gift.  I feel their pain.  Some might say it’s a curse.  I think it’s a gift.  Why?  Because so many people on this urth (say it that way, it’s fun… urth… my daughter taught me that… lol) so many cannot feel other people’s pain, can’t see that they are better off then others.  All they see are themselves.  It’s a ME factor.  I might be an alcoholic, or a loser, or a one time bulimic, but one thing I know is LA.  Is me.  And is the pain of others.  Not a curse, a gift.

And I love me, with my pluses and minuses, I love ME.  And that I feel is also a gift.  Those who cannot love themselves no matter what can never know the meaning of unconditional love.  Ross knew it.  I know it.  We are a rare breed.  I’m smiling right now as I write this because I feel special.  And because I do, no one can hurt me anymore.  Unless I hurt myself, which I don’t plan on doing.  I’m my best friend.  And yes, I talk to myself, and I’ve already had my break down… and now it’s my break upward.  But I will still talk to myself, and to my animals like they are human, and hug them and love them like they human, because they are the few on this “urth” that understand unconditional love.  One thing my sister, the one that called me those names?  Will never know.  And that’s another story for another blog.

Note the noses and to my previous post…. to honesty.  Why do you think some end up like us?  Honesty is such a lonely a word…

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