Chapter 8 – Monrad Mansion – My Prison in My Own Camp

Moving on to month three, prior to my discovery of the M Miester’s infidelity, I was stuck alone in my home.  MM found out that Spidy Man and the Meesh were the behind the calling of the cops.  He called them rats and warned me that if I had any contact with them there would be consequences.  Although the M Miester often spoke but didn’t act, I wasn’t sure of his unpredictability, so I decided to keep to myself.  Sha hadn’t visited in a while either.  I was uncomfortable, upset and felt trapped.  I would visit MM on occasion when he called and asked me to take a cab because he had lost his license for 90 days and didn’t want to chance anything.  But he refused to come by.  I tried to make it work, but the fighting was getting out of control, and he kept accusing me of being involved in the cop calling, and that I was apparently messing with Spidy Man, calling me all the horrible names a woman should never be called.  He drank whiskey excessively now and it was unbearable.

For a while I just stayed away.  The horrible thing is that I had already isolated my friends that lived in the area before I had moved away, when M Miester and I “lived” together.  Well, I took him in because he had no home and his job wasn’t paying him.  But during that time we did start our relationship and it was very suffocating.  We didn’t go out, and if we did I couldn’t speak to any other man, let alone say hi.  Even my girlfriends became a threat to him, and in time, it was only him and I.  My new friends now far away, and my old friends “estranged”, there I was on a farm just outside the city, no car, no one to speak to, except my friends on the internet.  The internet had become my best friend.

Then one day I called and a woman answered his phone.  It was during the day.  When he called me I asked who it was.  He said it was Mac.  His ex girlfriend.  I knew she had been in love with him since way back when and my heart sunk.  It was a reminder of my previous relationship with my ex husband.  He said they were just friends.  Typical of a man to say such things.  Although suspicious, I put it aside and went on the way we were.  Some nights were good, but most continued not to be.  On one particular evening, his daughter came downstairs and was angry at her father.  It was then the truth came out.  She accused his father of being a player and that it was not fair to me not to know about his relationship with Mac, who apparently had been visiting on nights her husband wasn’t at home and staying through the night.  Apparently it had been going on since the summer.  Alas, that was it.

Okay, no it wasn’t.  MM was still my only friend and having had been one of my best friends prior to our dating, I wanted to hold on to that.  Truth be known I was dependent on him.  So when he would invite me over I would go.  If he made an advance I refused it.  He kept trying, telling me he loved me, but it was always the same thing.  Pictures of Mac were taped to his fridge while mine remained hidden in a drawer.  During this time however, his daughter and I were building a friendship.  She would even take a cab over to my place to visit from time to time.

Back at my home, I had decided that I wouldn’t take MM’s threats seriously, nor hold me captive in my own home anymore, and began to socialize once again with the little community.  No longer a prisoner, I began to feel freer.  Between that, and being away from alcohol, and having been placed on meds for severe anxiety, things were looking up.  Even my fear of leaving the home on my own were subsiding.  The only thing left was to get a job.  This was to prove to be much more difficult than I had hoped.

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