I had three children. Okay, I guess I have three beautiful children, but i don’t know them much anymore. I know their youth. I don’t know their coming into adulthood. The other night I wished myself away, and then the next morning I wondered why. It was because I don’t see my treasures anymore, and then that creates a messed up mom whom they don’t want to see anymore because I text them wanting to see them, but I realized they really don’t want to see me. But no matter what someday they will realize that all the pain of the divorce… the worst pain… was the breaking of the family. I will never forgive myself for something I guess I did that made him love someone else and then take my kids away and not care. I will always love him because I always did and had my children loving him. Unconditional love is rare. I’m rare.
OMG maybe I am my mother. That was dad’s song to her… see next post.