Beauty or a beast? This is the worst of it. This is the biggest killer of eating disorder. This lady probably… no… most likely… no… does… think she is too fat. This picture IS Anorexia. I was bulimic. To see someone that emaciated was painful. I could feel their pain. But comes the weird thing about having an eating disorder. You could anorexic, bulimic, or a bulimarexic (do both – smaller than a bulimic, larger than an anorexic), but even seeing overweight people makes you want to cry because you know. You know there’s something inside that’s not working right. Like alcoholics, or like drug addicts, whatever the coping mechanism. I can’t advocate for any of this. I do however ask why this has become so rampid. Why are there so many lost souls? I’m not sure. Why do so many of us look to the coping mechanism. Some less threatening than others.
I had a friend with anorexia. If you saw her face at the time, you would swear she was a walking skeleton. Then they put her into the hospital. 30% chance of survival. They plugged her with an IV and when she walked out she was 170 lbs. They managed to save her, but they didn’t save her from her coping mechanism. Later she joined my club of bulimics. Haven’t seen her in a long time, but if you did you wouldn’t even know she was or maybe even still is bulimic. We’re not as transparent and we like it that way.
Karen, Nancy, and all my other friends that suffered through this – and that I don’t see anymore, I hope you have found solace like I have. But it was a journey!
So bulimia is – eat your emotions and throw up. Anorexia is a slow form of suicide and wanting to disappear by being small and unnoticed. Bulimarexic is in between.