What a Night… of just thinking.

Songs, remembories, love, hope and faith. I’m not sure how many of you out there know the story about Karen Carpenter. It may be a small thing to some, but unfortunately her untimely death brought forth the reality of this disease. Not one so much that is horrendous in its simplicity, but it is in its insimplicity. Okay. So I’m using words here in the non-dictionary format, but they’re real words. Bulimia? Bull-im-addict? I like my play on words. They make me smile. Sometimes even laugh and that in itself makes me feel better. It makes me not want that next bite of food. Laughter. Fun. Positive. These all see so simple but there not. When I put in my mind the “virtual” dart board, I go for the L, F, P’s even if they don’t have them written down. I could be that I choose a 1 to be laughter, a 7 to be fun and a 15 to be positive. I always give them equal billing so such that (love my grammar!! Ha!) they are worth more than their weight in gold. So I give myself the feeling that if I hit those numbers… 1 means I’ll laugh more, 7 have more fun, 15 continue to see things in a positive life. I think, if I can hit one of each of them only, I’ll have won. And to all of you out there that are reading this that think bulimia is something weird? You’re absolutely right. Why? Because no one other than those who have (and hope not, but yes ARE) experiencing it know… Love yourself, no matter how many times you throw up and if you really want to heal, check out what had to have been a human being just angry because they didn’t think he understood that.

Take care of them on the farm and they’ll be okay.

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